Joro Olumofin “Doktor Mofin”, a Lagos socialite recently shared a write-up on social media where he discussed tips on how to find out if your boyfriend or husband is cheating on you.
Read his message below:
How to know if your Man is Cheating? Social Psychologist and Sociologists alike credit infidelity and unfaithfulness by a partner in a relationship as one of the major reasons for breakups and slips between strong or & weak couples.
There are 2 major problems associated with cheating by a Partner or Lover
(1) Emotional Disconnect and
(2) Physical Disconnect.
Emotional Disconnect is the worst and sometimes if not attended to as soon as possible it can lead to permanent breakup and hatred. This is when your Man doesn’t feel emotionally attached to you anymore. You lose sight of the basic instincts in life and courtship, which are : if he doesn’t laugh at your jokes, if he doesn’t ask why you’re sad, if he no longer tells you about his business plans or aspirations and you have to find out on the news or blogs, if he forgets the little rituals or secret handshakes you have, if he is always the first to drop the phone, if your food suddenly taste bitter, if he has a secret “Business line” you don’t know about, if he becomes so formal that your conversation is now about the Weather or Politics, if he no compliments your new hair or nice body features.
THEN you know there’s a problem.
Emotions are memories in our cognition that make us attached to a one person more than any other person in the World. So if your Man has an Emotional Disconnect then he may most likely cheat on you or not give you the time and affection you deserve.
I must also say that when there is an Emotional Disconnect “Making Love” turns to/becomes Exercise to him or just sex. All the “I love yous” or “I miss you” during sex is gone hence no more Passion.
Physical Disconnect is when your man is no longer attracted to you psychically but still loves you as a wife or girlfriend. He still laughs at your jokes, buys you nice things, there are occasional surprises but when it comes to the late night activities he’s missing in action.
Some men even lose their ability to get an Erection for their partners because of this problem.
Most times Physical Disconnect is associated with (1) meeting a new or younger woman (2) when wives or girlfriend becoming boring or refusing to be creative in the bedroom e.g. some women say I don’t like this style, I can’t do this, can’t watch porn with you (3) when the man isn’t living healthy and he can’t sexually function (4) when the man looks at his GF or wife and says I don’t recognize her i.e. she isn’t looking fit or sexy anymore (5) Some women who forget to be wives and resume the mother duties hence forth abandoning their husbands sexual needs, their children are the new husbands and love of their lives.
This being said here are common tips to identify some red flags if your man is stepping out on you:
(1) Any guy who is no longer jealous or protective over you – red flag
(2) Reduction in Sex or Public Display of Affection – red flag
(3) Formality! Treats you like he’s your dad or he’s your boss. No more cordial dealings – red flag
(4) Stays out late and goes straight to bed when he comes – red flag
(5) Doesn’t look at your face anymore during sex – red flag
(6) Doesn’t like your food or doesn’t even bother if you cook. Means someone else may be cooking for him – red flag
(7) Reduction of phone calls and delays in reply on messages- red flag
(8) Always happy when you’re not around or he has to leave you- red flag
(9) Compares you to his friends wife or some models on TV on a regular basis in a condescending way- red flag
Ladies, some scholars have argued that men are biologically made to cheat and some other scholars disagree to with this Hypothesis.
In order to keep your home or your relationship intact, follow trends, study your husband like a book, workout often, eat healthy, give him occasional surprise sex at work, cook for him as if you are on master chef “Dstv” and make love to him like you are in 50 shades of grey.
If after all this and he’s still not satisfied then you’ve done your part. And you may need to make a decision about if you want to be in or out of the relationship but don’t leave your man unsatisfied or thirsty